Annoyed and Confused...

I've been thinking...this one isn't for everyone..but for a few people at home...

You really start to figure out where you stand when you aren't worth 80 cents, the twenty minutes or so it takes to reply to a letter and the 20 foot walk to the mailbox. I, on the other hand, take at least a hour to write people, because I usually do it while I'm doing my homework, it costs 2 dollars and the mailbox is over a mile away round trip. But I still write. And yet, nothing appears in the mailbox, save for the letters from my Grandmas, one of which can't write me anymore, a postcard from Chandler, and a card from Mary. I talk to Mom almost everyday, so she couldn't really have a ton to write about, but everyone else that I've written to...has never written back. I've never gotten any artwork of my niece or nephews, as was promised, not a thing. I'm not worth 80 cents, yet, my life is already being planned for me before I even get home. Maybe, I want to just be home, and if anyone wants to see me they can find ME. Maybe, for once, I want to live on my own terms, and not on the terms of someone that thinks they need to possess me or I won't ever come back. I don't come around because you try to possess me, don't you get it? And do you know what else? I'm tired of being the supposed perfect one. I'm not perfect. Not even close. And there is so much pressure sometimes to be the perfect one, that I almost want to scream. Almost. But I don't say anything. I don't say anything because it isn't worth the fights and hassles that will follow. It isn't worth watching your family go to shit over an opinion, so its just easier to shut up. That said, no one needs to read into this weirdly and get all out of sorts. I am just fine here, I'm not depressed, and there is only 1 or 2 swear words in this. So, take this as you will, but don't get all crazy over it. Okay?

I have a paper to write for my philosophy class and one to start to writing class. Both for tomorrow or course. Procrastinator me. heh. Ohhhh, while Im thinking on it...


HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY COREY! I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU!!!

Had to put that up for the birthday boy, even though he probably wont even see it. Ah, well. Well, all, I must go. I love and miss you all heaps...

All my Love...